Archive for November 2013

Free Willy   2 comments

You may want to take a seat, this one might be long.  So, have you ever woken up one Sunday morning and found yourself in Mexico, and it was raining?  And maybe you thought to yourself, today would be a good day to hug a dolphin?  Well, you may not have had one of those types of mornings, but I just did.

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Yes, isn’t that cute.  Now, take a good look, does it look like I am having fun?  Exactly!  Let’s see if the wife enjoyed her time with my buddy as much as I did…

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Yeah…not so much.

Let me tell you, this was quite the experience.  We were down in Cabo, which is on the southernmost tip of the Baja Peninsula, for a wedding.  The word wedding doesn’t really do justice to or encompass what took place there, suffice to say it was a gala more than a wedding, a party to top all parties, and it went on for days.

The wedding website (did you have a website for your wedding?  Neither did we) told us that swimming with the dolphins wasn’t to be missed.  I knew that the wife probably was not going to be as enthusiastic about the visit as I was…and the pic above just about covers her reactions throughout.

Getting to Mexico was a harrowing experience.  Since the 4th grade, I have been immersed in Spanish classes, all the way through high school, m’kay?  So you would assume I could retain at least a paltry vocabulary in this language some 15 years later, bien?  Not so much.  So poor were my language skills when we had to transfer planes in Juarez (don’t ask, it was bad, that’s all you need to know), that we nearly missed our connecting flight because I couldn’t muster “Where is Gate K?” in Española.  You do not want your name being called in a Mexican airport, ever…that was something I will never forget.  I may not speak the language anymore (as if I ever spoke it)…but I sure as hell knew to RUN when I heard my name over the PA, I didn’t need to know what they were saying…I ran so fast I left the wife a few gates behind.  We were the last ones on the plane.

Moving on.  Now that we were safely in Cabo, it was time to rent a car.  Being a Hertz Gold member does have its privileges, and one of those privileges is that you can pay 3 times the amount of your daily rental rate for the insurance coverage in Mexico.  Or, you can opt out of the insurance and have a $2,000 hold put on your credit card.  Seeing as the rental car, missing hub cap and all, wasn’t worth $2,000, we opted for the optional insurance coverage, because should anything happen to the (obviously upgraded) vehicle, they would have kept every dollar of that $2,000 for the repair.

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Next.  The resort was breathtaking.  At least here the wife’s membership status did pay off, in spades.

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The resort had it’s own paparazzi on the property, taking pictures of special guests like me, for purchase.  The fotogs would find you swimming in the pool or on the beach and start snapping away.  Then, you would go to the kiosk, look at your pics, and buy them for many many hundreds of dollars.  We did.

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So now it was time for the party…not the first, not the last…the one right in the middle with all the Church stuff, tears of joy, and fancy outfits.  There were plenty of all those to go around.  But, prayerfully, the ceremony was not too long, and the bride was not too late, unlike my bride, pictured above, who was an hour late to our nuptials…yep, she’s a keeper.

Once the party got going, it was time to get in the pool.  The reception was right on the massive pool deck of the resort, and it doesn’t take much to get someone thrown in…and so it happened.  But not just guests went in.  I saw the mother of the bride, at least one bridesmaid, the bride herself, and then of course, the groom.  Did he take off his beeping pumper, or whatever it is beforehand, I hope?  I heard Vera Wang, who couldn’t make it, told the bride to try the dress out in the water…so she did.

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So on our last full day, after our dolphin extravaganza, we thought we would experience some local flavor.  We found a restaurant that looked promising for lunch, it had a very very local feel, and we entered.  The menu looked promising, even though the weather outside was cold, dark, and rainy.  Little did we know it would be cold, dark, and rainy inside too in short order.  We ordered food and had drinks in hand when we noticed a table not far from us get up and switch tables.  Didn’t think too much of it until I noticed a big puddle forming on the ground next to their table.  It appeared as though there was a leak in the ceiling.  It was no leak, and the “ceiling” was made of straw.  It was rain water seeping (falling right) through.  As the rain intensified outside, so did the rain intensify inside.  People were moving tables like, what’s that silly game, musical chairs?  We had a dry table, we chose wisely, though that would change, but not before the lights went out.  At first they flickered.  People cheered.  Then it went dark.  How dark?  See for yourself.

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Don’t we look cute?

Again referring to what turned out to be a very useful wedding website, our last dinner in Mexico was to be special.  The restaurant was located inside a beautiful gated resort, though that didn’t stop the clown from getting past security and killing his intended target at a kids birthday bash last month.  Pro Tip: Don’t be a part of organized drug rings in Mexico, you never know what clown might crash your party and shoot you.  The food was the very best, the property was beautiful, and the service was tops.  They even brought out a mini stand for the wife’s purse…who knew they even made those…it was like a coat rack for her overpriced bag, right there next to the table.  Cute.  The mariachi band played wonderfully…so great in fact that we got up to dance after we ate…even though we were the only ones dancing…stupid gringos.

Alas, our last morning in Mexico was here.  Time to pack up.  Of course it was a beautiful day.  Everyone had electricity, and there were no leaks.  One last tourist stop to make, and then off to the airport to return our luxury vehicle and, hopefully, board the plane without incident.  We headed down to the docks to take a little boat out to see the Golden Arch or something and Lover’s Beach…oh yeah!  Oh, and a fat seal sleeping on a ledge too.

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The guy driving the boat insisted we wear those silly life jackets…even though I explained to him that I swim with dolphins…

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…truly the only way to travel…at least while underwater.

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Posted November 16, 2013 by mayday76 in Uncategorized