Can you hear me now?   1 comment

Have you ever needed medical attention, only to find the medical center you arrive at in the middle of the night “closed”? Hmmm…well, I have. It’s a terrible feeling…never mind the anxiety of going to a medical center when you are in need of immediate medical care…but to see the lights out, door locked…nobody home? I had just gotten off the plane (if you want to call it a plane…it was smaller than the car I drove to the airport…and holds fewer passengers too)…and the tiny ear bud (Thanks, Beats!) stuck in my ear canal was really starting to hurt (No surprise there, as I drove with it stuck in my ear for 3.5 hours in awful I-95 traffic). I had a choice at that moment, 9pm…do I drive to the medical center, where there was good chance it was closed for the night, or do I drive to the Police Dept/Fire Dept/Ambulance place, one-stop-for-all-your-needs center? I chose poorly, as you will read.

hello

Wife and I drove straight to the medical center…it was only a 5 minute drive from town, but we were both anxious…I was anxious because I was concerned all the restaurants were going to be closed by the time this nonsense was over, and I was starving…she was concerned that I was going to lose my hearing forever, AND have a stupid rubber earbud permanently in my ear…

So, we pull up to the nice little medical center…empty parking lot. No big deal…that is common here, as there isn’t much business to begin with on this small island (though my brother usually gives them good business while he is on island). We get out of the car, walk over to the emergency entrance…door is locked. No use in knocking on the door…it’s not like they live there…so plan B. We head to the police-all-in-one super center, where we walk in, and the nice dispatcher lady hears my tale of woe and, trying hard not to laugh, picks up the phone. She calls the on-call Nurse for the whole island. Nurse lady tells dispatcher lady to tell me she will meet us at the medical center in 10 minutes. Before that though, the Nurse lady asks to speak with me over the phone…I guess to confirm that this is not a prank…because I guess it sounds absurd? She hears my brief tale, then promptly tells me that I need to be prepared for the possibility she may not be able to remove the object “conventionally.” Okay, I say to her….see you in 10 minutes, and I hang up.

So we are driving back to the medical center….and it hits me. What did nurse lady mean when she said “conventionally?” If she can’t pull this thing out with tweezers, then what, a hacksaw to the ear lobe? Are those the only two options on this island…conventional=tweezers…non-conventional=lose an ear. Well, no time for more worry…oh, and at this point, I too am concerned about my near future and hearing…forget about food.

We pull into the lot right behind the Nurse Practioner, as she is conventionally known on the island…or, non-conventionally, “the Butcher of Block Island!”

She is a friendly woman, who after cordials and introductions, regales the wife and I with her most recent medical emergency only a few hours ago…little old lady victim of a hit-and-run…you must be pretty stupid to be the driver of a hit-and-run on a tiny island…where are you going to go and hide? It’s not like you can drive off the island on the ferry without having your car spotted.

Nurse, N.P. gets me settled into the exam room, throws on some fancy magnifying glasses and grabs the ear probe thing we all have experiences with as children at the Pediatrician’s office, and then promptly declares, “Oh, it’s in there!” She then asks me if the wife would be able to assist (wife is out in waiting room filling out useless paperwork). I laugh to myself quickly at this point, as my wife gets squeamish watching “Nip Tuck.” But I say, of course she can help! NP calls out to her…and wife walks in for the assist (holding my ear lobe back while NP uses the longest tweezer I’ve ever seen to grab the object). Earbud comes out, and we head to dinner.

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Posted August 8, 2013 by mayday76 in Uncategorized

One response to “Can you hear me now?

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  1. Good God Richard! I’m so glad you are safe and sound from such a life threatening event!
    Did Lauren was her hands after coming in contact with that almost amputated appendage?

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